The Joys of Being Home by Jenny Nanninga @bloom.wild.schoolhouse
(Photo by Jay C Winter photography)
Jenny is a wife and homeschooling mama to five daughters. She strives to make a well-loved home and homeschool on the central coast of California in a mere 800 square feet with backyard chickens, front yard gardens, homemade bread, and candlelight. Jenny loves Jesus, adventure, and encouraging women in all things wifehood, motherhood, and homemaking.
There was a time when we would venture out multiple times a week. Play dates. Errands. Adventures. Visiting Daddy at work. Walks around the neighborhood. Those days were fun, but also involved a continuous preparation to leave, lots of buckling of car seats and driving, unpacking from being gone, juggling of nap schedules, and rushing to catch up on work at home after returning.
As I added more children to my brood, the thought of strapping them all into a car to go anywhere, combined with the necessary packing of snacks and diapers became less and less appealing. Add to that the need for schooltime at home and my desire to leave was all but extinguished.
The irony is that our home is very small. 800 square feet to be exact. You may think that it would be confining and urge us to escape. Rather, we have found joy in being home.
There has been a shift in our culture that has made home appear as some sort of prison or some lesser place. Yet I laugh to think that somehow sitting in a cubicle all day is supposed to be more freeing than being in a home and yard. I would much rather sit on my couch sipping tea as I read to my children and a soft breeze tickles the gauzy white curtains, than to be staring at the walls of a corporate office. I would much rather be digging in the earth of my garden or kneading the sticky dough in my kitchen than punching numbers, standing all day in a classroom (I was a public school teacher for six years) or any number of things!
Our children, too, are not shut up at home. They are free to run in the yard, practice spelling in the tree fort, read on their bed, and complete math on the coffee table with cocoa or snacks nearby. This is a much richer, sweeter, and comforting experience than a hard plastic chair and a three by two foot desk.
Don't believe the lie that home is not enough. In your home you can walk through forests, castles, the sands of a desert and even the past through the wonder of literature.
You can taste the food of different cultures as you hover above the stove.
You can learn to live life beautifully and wholly and joyfully by finding joy in the seemingly simple rhythms and routines of home and family.
If you have struggled to find joy in your home or in being at home, don't lose hope. This can change. You can craft a joyful life and you can enjoy this life at home.
You may be surprised at the freedom you feel from being at home more. It is important to remember that we are discussing the joy of BEING home, not the joy of a PHYSICAL home. Your home may be small (like mine), or older (like mine), or on a barren landscape, or not designed the way you prefer. However, as Abbie Deal declares in A Lantern in Her Hand, "Home was something besides so much lumber and plaster. You built your thoughts into the framework. You planted a little of your heart with the trees and the shrubbery."
I reflect often on what it is that makes us so content at home, so filled up after being in the same space day after day, hour after hour, and I believe it is because our hearts and thoughts are within its walls.
I have dug up a few keys to how we find this feeling of joy at home.
BEING HOME HELPS MAKE A HOME
When we are at home, we are able to care for our homes. Being constantly on the go can make chores rushed and lead to a feeling of stress even while we are out, essentially stealing our joy. Being home allows us to take care of our space through organization, cleaning, and meal prep. These areas provide joy and make the home a more lovely and comforting place to be in.
2. BEING HOME MEANS BEING TOGETHER
Sometimes, leaving the home means lessons or play dates that can separate members of the family or even bring up discipline issues in public (never fun to deal with). Being home allows you the time and space to train your children slowly and calmly and to foster positive relationships. This will increase the joy while at home as the people there will be friends who enjoy one another's presence. They will become a team that works together for a common goal as they complete chores and duties together.
3. BEING HOME CREATES FREE TIME
The amount of time spent simply preparing to go somewhere, cleaning up after, and transitioning from outings takes up a lot of a day. When we are at home, there is more time to read that toddler a book, do a puzzle, bake a cake, or complete a craft. The exhaustion of being out and about can make you say "No" to a lot of fun at home activities. Freeing up time for creativity and exploration at home brings joy to all the members of the family in ways that are special to them.
4. BEING HOME OPENS YOUR EYES
Without the chaos often involved in going out and without the noise of the world around you, you are free to enjoy the little things. The sound of your child's laughter rings louder. The way the sunlight hits her golden curls in the afternoon. The child snuggled with a purring cat on the couch. The worm or rock or flower they run to show you. The helping hands that want to sift the flour. The story your pre-teen comes to tell you. Your slow home-pace allows for these moments of joy.
Maybe leaving your house is extremely important to you. Maybe you thrive in group settings. I understand! I love connecting with other moms, heading out into nature, or even swinging by the local thrift stores for some shopping.
I haven't become a complete hermit and we still venture out, but we keep it simple. We plan ahead for our outings. In general, we spend more time at home, which then allows us to take care of the home and the lessons, the training and the relationships. This then makes it much easier to sometimes indulge in spontaneous outings!
TIPS FOR LEAVING HOME LESS
Our family has weekly nature group meetings that we love. Knowing that we will spend Friday morning and afternoon with friends gives us something to look forward to and allows us to focus on our work and home life on the other days. I also can plan easy errands on this same day in order to minimize the number of times I have to load children into and out of the car. If they are all in the car anyway on the way back from a nature day, why not schedule a Target pickup for that time?
We also visit my husband once a week for his lunch break. This is a short outing and does not require much preparation. Is there an easy no-prep outing you can do? Is your library within walking distance? Can you stop by the park for a half hour after the grocery store? There is already food in your car, so there is no need to pack snacks!
I have begun planning my shopping to occur only twice a month. This way, we can be home more and save our away-from-home time for more special events than the grocery store. We live in a time when farm boxes, grocery pickup, and numerous online grocery options exist. Maybe taking advantage of some of these will help! Menu planning also helps you to avoid multiple unnecessary trips to the store.
When it comes to running extra errands or stopping by a thrift store, I often weave these stops into times that I am already out. However, the thought of dragging five kiddos in and out of stores is often unappealing. So, on the weekends sometimes I will sneak away during the baby's naptime with just one or two children. It is a special time for them, not stressful for my husband at home, and usually a much quicker trip than if I attempted it during the week with all of the kiddos.
There is much joy to be found in that feeling of home and of belonging. There is joy in creating a haven for the ones we love. There is joy in weaving the fabric of a life lived together, of creating traditions and memories.
Again, the wisdom of Abbie Deal speaks to me from the pages as she holds her granddaughter, "...on her lap. She cuddled her up and put her wrinkled cheek against the child's firm one. Oh, why didn't mothers do it more when they had the chance? What were clubs and social affairs and freedom by comparison? And what was freedom?"
The legacy of home will live long in your heart and the hearts of your children. Open your eyes to the joy and welcome it home.